One of the biggest barriers of entry to intimacy I see is when a relationship can no longer partake in non sexual forms of touch, like kissing.
A couple can be in high stress, high pressure when they are navigating their intimate struggles.
During this time, it is pretty common for one of the individuals to perceive any form of touch from the other as “danger” – that touch is alluding to sex. Therefore even just an innocent kiss can be perceived as sexual initiation.
This causes the individual to retreat from intimacy as much as possible. This serves as protection, and with the intention to not lead their partner on. They are usually happy to engage with friendly forms of intimacy, however everything appears to be ‘weighted’ with sexual undertones.
The partner that is trying to initiate kissing might feel rejected and that whatever they do isn’t working. From their perspective they see their partner turning away from any little attempt of connection.
If this is sounding familiar, you are not alone.
The best place to start is to figure out how to make small bids for intimate connection safe again. Safe for both parties. Safe to initiate connection, and safe to receive just a kiss (if that is what you enjoy).
