Most of us understand that relationships are like the tide, constantly ebbing and flowing.
Our feelings, energy levels and sensitivity change depending on what’s happening inside and around us.
Understanding what’s happening and how it impacts your desire, might help you to reprioritise pleasure.
If you are feeling stressed balancing work, family and other commitments, then the romantic side of you might get put on hold.
Who can think about romance when they are exhausted? But connecting with your partner isn’t something to shy away from.
Especially if there are relationship issues. One issue that couples don’t always like to readily admit is unsatisfactory sex.
How you talk to your partner about the sex you’re not having is pinnacle. If you want more sex, or would like a different type of sex than you are having, the communication is the key.
Start with the positives. Talk to your partner about what works and what leads you to positive feelings will help put your partner at ease.
Then, they will hopefully be more willing and receptive to hear what you have to say.
This would look like saying “I really miss doing XYZ with you, is this something you’d be willing to try again soon?” or “I miss feeling sexually connected to you, what are you comfortable doing at the moment to try and reconnect”.
Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements so your partner doesn’t hear criticism, feel rejected or hear that they are lacking in the bedroom will help immensely.
“You” statements suggest your partner is at fault for not doing things your way, which runs the risk of them feeling not good enough and then be more hesitant in participating in sexual experiences.
Proactively reaching out to your partner can help you steer through rough water and bring you back to tranquil seas.
