I see many couples who are trying to conceive and their sex life can often decline. When a couple has fertility issues or is having issues in the bedroom, the pressure amps up. Many of these couples often look at the fertile window with a sense of doom and anxiety. This then turns the every other day sex (or whichever method you are using) during the fertile window into pure baby making sex. Meaning- the pleasure goes out the window and it is then goal oriented sex.
When you want nothing more to conceive and start a family, this makes sense. However think about why you normally have sex; is it about connection, feeling good, pleasure, arousal? Then if so, there is a good chance you have separated your sex life into baby making sex vs non baby making sex. If you have a good sex life where both parties are happy during non baby making sex, think about how to transition this into sexy time during your fertile window. If you don’t perhaps discussing your issues with a sex therapist could be helpful.
I tell all couples who experience sex issues, “ditch the pressure, increase the pleasure”. Take your energy and focus back to what you enjoy sexually, and do this during your fertile window. Hopefully it is just the beginning of enjoying frequent sex during that time of the month, and you happen to achieve procreation in the process.
